Nonviolent Communication

Therapy is all about relationships and communication: relationships with ourselves, with our partners, attachment figures, with our communities, with our environments. And communication is the primary way we interact with all of those entities. Nonviolent communication is a specific and mindful way of speaking that requires emotional identification and vocabulary, self regulation, attunement, and trust. Ultimately, it's a method of communication that will improve all of your relationships.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Communication styles and patterns are learned. We can learn new ones and unlearn what doesn't serve us. If the goal is to achieve harmony and progressive and positive outcomes as a result of communication, learning how to do this so our approach is effective, has integrity, and the goals are clearly defined. It's incredibly frustrating to attempt to communicate with someone important in our lives only to be met with defensiveness and a lack of receptivity. Let's improve the outcomes together.

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of viewing one's self, one another and the world with empathy--truly listening with an open heart. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered, to name a few.

M.A. degree in Conflict Studies and Dispute Resolution

Nonviolent Communicationsm (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, guides us to reframe how we express ourselves, how we hear others and resolve conflicts by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting. It is a tool that leads us toward a quality of connection among people where everyone’s needs are valued and get met through compassionate giving—out of the joy of contributing to another human being.

I am trained in NVC for use with children, teens and adults

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication as an undergraduate student. I have been utilizing its principles and literature for over 15 years.

NVC is more than a communication tool, it is a lens through which we can see ourselves and others. I have done multiple trainings in NVC over the past several years which has led me to feel comfortable integrating it into therapy sessions with both individuals and couples. I disagree with the idea that NVC is a script to follow, and rather view it as practice for creating more understanding, compassion, and choice in our lives.