Shelby Milhoan (she/her)

Relationship issues can include being in a relationship you know isn't good for you though you can't seem to make changes, infidelity on behalf of the client or partner(s), past relational or childhood trauma that may be seeping into your current relationship(s), and feeling guilt, shame, and anxiety in your relationships. I have worked with many clients on how to address these issues and feel better in their relationship(s).

I know personally that folks who identify as women have distinct histories, thoughts, world views, and intergenerational trauma that can lead to difficulty in making changes. That is why I look at difficulties in the present and what has happened in the past, including your epigenetics (family history passed down in DNA through generations), the culture you were brought up in, and the messages you recieved throughout your years and how they shaped who you are.

When using attachement theory, I take a look at how your environment, including your relationships with your parent(s) and primary care giver(s), played a role in how you move through your current relationships. Research shows that how you and your primary caregiver bonded plays a role in your adult romantic relationships. By recognizing this and behaviors that are currently not serving you, we can make lasting changes in how you relate to others.

When using attachement theory, I take a look at how your childhood environment, including your relationships with your parent(s) and primary care giver(s), played a role in how you move through your current relationships. Research shows that how you and your primary caregiver bonded plays a role in your adult romantic relationships. By recognizing this and behaviors that are currently not serving you, we can make lasting changes in how you relate to others.

When using attachement theory, I take a look at how your childhood environment, including your relationships with your parent(s) and primary care giver(s), played a role in how you move through your current relationships. Research shows that how you and your primary caregiver bonded plays a role in your adult romantic relationships. By recognizing this and behaviors that are currently not serving you, we can make lasting changes in how you relate to others.

I have 60 hours of intensive training and hundreds of hours on DBT consultation teams. I have also helped several clients adopt DBT principles and learn skills that have truly changed their lives. DBT acknowledges both that people are trying the best they can with what they have AND that they can change behavior to make lasting changes. In therapy, we will look at accepting ourselves AND learning emotion regulation, mindfulness, distress tolerance, and assertiveness skills.

When using attachement theory, I take a look at how your childhood environment, including your relationships with your parent(s) and primary care giver(s), played a role in how you move through your current relationships. Research shows that how you and your primary caregiver bonded plays a role in your adult romantic relationships. By acknowleding the bonds and shifting the behaviors that are currently not serving you, we can make lasting changes in how you relate to others.

I utilize several different trauma modalities, including parts of somatics, internal family systems, and mindfulness-based approaches to not just speak about your trauma but to actually process the emotion and sensation that has led you to feel as if you can't "get over it."

I utilize several different trauma modalities, including somatics, internal family systems, and mindfulness-based approaches to not just speak about your trauma but to actually process the emotion and sensation that has led you to feel as if you can't "get over it."

Burnout is emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that is brought on by prolonged stress in your life, whether that be from work, being a caregiver, or being in toxic or difficult relationships. You can think of it as an ongoing state of overwhelm or anxiety, and no matter how hard you try to rest, it doesn't seem to get any better. I work with my clients to identify this issue and acknowledge where behavior, thought, and emotion can be shifted to decrease burnout.